very fast, next week is going to be our 16th months together. ( 3rd of the month, which is also CNY day 1 )

in this 16th months, we been through a lot. quarrels, breakup, one most dramatic is that i shifted out of this house because had a very big fight with a never- grown-up boy, his brother.

i never good in communication nor expressing myself. resulting in getting quiet and quieter each day. he went reservist for 2 weeks and it's a really good test for me. " Do i really need him in my life" Many times, i did complain to people around me, also receiving feedback, advice from my closest ones. Love one another also equal to giving freedom. But i do not have any freedom once i stepped into this relationship.

" if you want to play, then give up on this relationship but if you treasure this relationship, you have to give up on playing " there's no way for you to balance both side.

my earning is about the same as my boyfriend. but there's no way he allow me to spend it. it's been 7-8 months of stepping into this working society. i've never spend any single cents on branded. like people say, it's your earning/ hardwork, spend it the way you want. I want to have AT LEAST a piece of branded bag/wallet, self-praise for my own hardship. Why is it so hard !!!!!

Like whenever i go shopping with my sister, mum, family, never once they stop me from buying things. because they know this is MY OWN money. sometime, i complained to my mum about my boyfriend. he says me ugly, fat ......

if i am going to continue complaining, this is going to never ending ....